Monday, April 28, 2008
Was suppose to accompany boy yesterday but ended up, he has soccer and meeting his friends after that. I was totally fine with it. He sent me home and headed down for soccer. Everything was so fine at that time. Aamie darling called me, so met her at baili house. After that we went to drink. While she was eating, i was calling peeps and see if they wanna drink. While calling, i received a msg which hurt me and i don't know what to do. Felt like crying but i can't as aamie's bf is around. Finally i managed to find someone to drink. Jason went down straight raining bar. When he's around, all i was trying to do was to put on a fake smile. Smoke and drink. I'm sorry that i've broke the promise jason. Slowly i just kept drinking and bit by bit i got tipsy. Went out to smoke. Saw darren and jason smoking. So join them. After that darren went in first. and slowly the kick came. Real drunk. And i've forgotten what happen. All i know that jason took the cigarette away from me and i just drop dead. My head hurts and so as for my heart. In my mind, theres lots of why this and why that. Sigh. Till now, boy totally ignoring me and i don't know what to do. Jason's msn nick sounds so moody. Why am i still caring about jason ? What am i thinking ? Why do i feel the same old feeling coming back ? Sigh !Aamie darling was sad too cause her boyfriend last minute meeting his friends. She was so sad that she felt like crying. The whole night we were just trying to stay strong. aamie darling, you did stay strong. Sorry that i couldn't. I just find it hard to put on a mask.
My tears just kept rolling down non-stop. I don't know what to do right now. Head hurts, Heart hurts and i'm feeling sick. Why is this happening. ))':
10:14 am